Making Hard Choices for a Better Life

As a hypnotherapist based in Southampton, I recently wrote an article which stated that it was important to share your journey with others, and so as a result, here is the second article, a sequel perhaps. I’ve come to believe that the true quality of life isn’t tied to what we own, but how we live and what we do because of our choices. The more I work with people to help them break free from old patterns and the chains of addiction, the more I’ve applied these lessons to my own life. I’ve had to make some hard choices that, now are beginning to bring me so much more than I could have ever wanted and therefore, have made me more relaxed and at ease. I want to share a bit of that journey with you.

It has always been important to me, to practise what I preach. How can I guide someone authentically through major life changes if I’m not willing to face those same challenges myself? For this reason, I’ve embraced the idea that making difficult choices today which will lead to a more fulfilling, healthier, and happier tomorrow. One of my personal mantras has been “make hard choices to live easy,” and this simple phrase has guided me through some of the most significant changes in my life.

Let me start at the beginning with the foundation of good physical and mental health, and the most common challenges, that is lifestyle habits. Those habits comprise smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling and, food choices. Smoking is out of the question for me as are any recreational substances.  For so many years now I only drink minimally because, quite frankly, I want to feel good and in control. Moderation is more than just cutting back; it’s about choosing to engage with things that enhance your life and by saying no to those habits which frankly do nothing for you. In my life, I’ve made room for the things that really bring me joy, health, and energy.

Physical and Mental

As a part of this transformation, getting back into running has been a game changer for me, both physically and mentally. I’ve been ensuring that I run 4-10 km, three times a week, which feels like the perfect sweet spot – not too far to lower the t-cells and varying both the distance and speed to burn calories and to increase stamina and improve cardio health. Pairing that with some weight training and regular stretching has really helped me build strength and flexibility, and it’s making a huge difference in how I feel overall. There’s something about the rhythm of running that clears my head, while the weights help me feel strong and capable. It’s not just about fitness because exercising is a crucial part of keeping my mind and body in balance. Actually, I am still not enjoying running but making the hard choices and living easy means I do it anyway!

Only recently, I have also begun to address food. Society in the west is caught up in the “more is better” mindset, but prioritising “quality over quantity” thinking, has transformed how I approach food. When planning, shopping and cooking, I focus on fresh, wholesome foods and as a result, feel more energised, more grounded, and, ultimately, more alive. My clients often hear me talk about balance and good nutrition, and I am making sure I live that way, too.

Although food is an important subject, it’s not just about what we put into our bodies. I’ve learned that what I feed my mind and soul matters just as much. These days, I’ve returned to reading more, once again I reside in a world of reflection and self-discovery, and it keeps me connected to my sense of purpose, “what’s important to me right now?” This question helps me focus, adapt, and grow. It guides me in the experiential learning cycle, to reflect,  to adjust and then to apply that learning.

There’s something so freeing about stepping back and reassessing what really matters in life. I used to think that having a lot of “stuff” brought happiness, but over time, I’ve realised that material things just don’t hold that much weight anymore. I really do now focus more on experiences, relationships, and inner growth. When you start clearing out the clutter, you make room for the things that truly matter – oh, there’s a mantra! Of course, one of the most significant shifts I’ve made in my life is the commitment to seeking answers for myself. I’ve always been curious, and I firmly believe that we should question everything. It’s easy to accept what we’re told, especially when it comes from mainstream sources or the establishment, but I’ve chosen to reject the mainstream narrative in many areas. For me, it’s about seeking to understand things from a critical perspective and finding answers that resonate with my own values and experiences. This approach has opened my eyes to alternative ways of thinking, especially when it comes to health, well-being, and personal freedom. We owe it to ourselves to explore, question, and think independently, and then, that really is where real empowerment begins.

Sense of Purpose

That brings me to another key part of my philosophy, having a sense of purpose. Without a reason to get up in the morning, life can feel repetitive. I am truly fortunate to have found my purpose, to help others find their freedom, whether that’s freedom from addiction, unhealthy habits, or limiting beliefs, grief or bereavement. Having that sense of purpose is what drives me to keep learning, keep growing, and keep helping others.

Of course, none of this is possible without good health. I firmly believe in fighting ill health with every natural treatment and approach available. Hypnotherapy has taught me that our minds and bodies are deeply connected, and through mindful living, we can influence our well-being. I’m always seeking out ways to stay healthy naturally, be it through diet, mental exercises, or holistic practices. You wouldn’t believe how much a good night’s sleep can be helpful in this. Sleep is the foundation of everything; without it, you can’t hope to function at your best.

Another key element of my incredible journey has been embracing spirituality and meditation. These practices have allowed me to connect more deeply with myself and the world around me. Through meditation, I’ve learned to not only quiet the mind, focus on the present, and find clarity in the chaos of everyday life but to seek answers from the universe and give myself to a wider consciousness. Spirituality, for me, is about recognising that there’s more to life than what we can see and touch. It’s about tapping into a deeper sense of purpose and understanding, and I do fully believe that we’re all part of something bigger – perhaps even adopting Pantheist philosophy. Whether it’s through meditation, mindfulness, or simply taking time to reflect, these practices have become a foundation for my mental and emotional well-being living with more peace and intention.

Reframing

Here's a funny secret! Those who know me will already know this…

Reframing situations to allow a positive mindset is like hitting the reset button on how we see the world around us. When we begin to get stressed it’s easy to let those negative thoughts creep in. I’ve found that if I can catch myself, then I can shift my thinking, it’s like that voice in my head, channelling Oddball: “Don’t hit me with those negative waves, baby!” I mean, really, why waste time on negativity when we can choose to see opportunity, possibility and growth instead? Positive vibes can change everything. For those who do not know, Oddball is an eccentric tank commander from the 1970 war film Kelly’s Heroes, played so well and made famous by the late, great, Donald Sutherland. Oddball is known for his laid-back, hippie-like attitude in the middle of a chaotic battlefield. Oddball is all about positive thinking and unconventional solutions, brushing off danger with his signature line, “Don’t hit me with them negative waves!” He stands out because while everyone else is stressed or serious, he stays relaxed, creative, and focused on the good using optimism and his offbeat personality to get things done, even in the wildest of situations.

So, here’s the takeaway: life is a series of choices. Some are easy, but the ones that challenge us the most are often the ones that bring the greatest rewards. Whether it’s letting go of material distractions, taking care of your health, or finding your sense of purpose, each choice is a step toward living a life of freedom and fulfilment. Fill your time with things that matter to you. Whether it’s working, learning, or even planning for tomorrow, keeping your mind and body active is a cornerstone of well-being, and that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?